won’t relent

Sometimes I’m overwhelmed at how blessed I am.

That’s not to say there aren’t days when I feel disconnected or distant. Last night I lay awake thinking of all the “what ifs” for nearly two hours before Michael got up for work, at which point I decided sleep had completely illuded me and I should go ahead and get up.

A conversation last night with my brother-in-law, Anthony, about “breath” and “spirit” has me thinking of so many things.
The rabbit hole to where this conversation led my thinking isn’t necessarily along the lines of what we were talking about, but contemplating breath reminded me how short life is…we will only take so many breaths on this journey and then it’s over. At least, our earthly journey is over, but the spirit goes on.

So what are we doing with this 80 or so years we’re given?

Don’t get me wrong, I want nice things, I want an orderly, comfortable home, I want a career I can be proud of, I want to leave something for the generations that come behind me. I’m sure Michael can get overwhelmed with all of the things “I want.”

But, when it comes down to it, what I really want, what I really need, is for the Lord to look at my spirit and say “well done.”

I’ve been stuck on a song that my brother, John-Paul, introduced me to recently. It helps put me in a spirit of worship and reminds me of Who gave me the breath I have here and now.

This is a process, but I won’t relent…


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